Judging by the glut of books on success and self-help on the market these days, it goes without saying that our society is obsessed with success. However, do we ever step back and reflect on what success really means? Who defines success? Do we define our own or do we allow others to define it for us and is it relative to others? What about its antonym, failure? What is failure? Is failure relative to others? Failure is based on what constitutes success?

For people who finish last in a running race, are they a failure? What about the person who chose not to run the race, because that is not a sport of their choosing. They prefer to swim.

In our society interpersonal comparisons are based, at least in part, on one’s own insecurity. We want to know how we measure up to someone in some quantifiable metric. We tend to avoid interpersonal comparisons that are less easy or even impossible to quantify.

I have come first in many different types of running events, from road races to fun runs. In the road races, I finished the distance in the shortest time of all participants competing. In the funs runs, I had the most fun of anyone participating. In the first case, I received a trophy and recognition during the awards ceremony for my relative position. However, in the second case, I received no such award or recognition, because it was impossible to quantify who had the most fun, despite having photos that make a pretty convincing case.